Rage & Disgust

As I sat down to write my Open Letter this week, I could not decide on who I wanted to write it to. I wanted to write about Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation hearings, but I was unsure what angle to take.

Would I write a scathing criticism of Kavanaugh himself? An inspirational message to Christine Blasey Ford? A letter of disappointment to the GOP? Something more general about women?

I wrote the introductory paragraphs for each of these options and I was unsatisfied with all of them. That's because I am so full of rage and disgust that trying to articulate my thoughts felt impossible. What I really wanted to write was a rant.

I want to rant about women's rights, about the painful disappearance of separation of church and state, about the patriarchy, about Roe v. Wade, about rape culture, about #MeToo, about survivors of sexual assault, and, to get real, how f*cked up this country is.

So, that's what you're going to get.

I can't promise it is going to be short or that it is going to be coherent or free of typos. As anyone who has proofread my work when I am writing about something I am passionate about will tell you, there are always typos.

What I hope I can promise, however, is that when you stop reading you will feel something.

Please don't become numb to this.

Be enraged.

Be disgusted.

Even before Dr. Ford bravely came forward with her allegations, I had a lot of problems with Brett Kavanaugh. I fundamentally disagree with most, if not all, of his political positions and believe that his appointment to the Supreme Court will have catastrophic long-term effects, especially on women.

That's because Brett Kavanaugh is a Catholic Christian white man and thinks that the Bible should govern how we run this country. He thinks that women should not be allowed to have abortions, contraceptives are evil, LGBTQ+ individuals should not be able to marry, and that evolution doesn't exist.

Look, I really don't care what religion you follow. If you want to be a Christian, that's great. If you want to be Jewish, that's great. If you want to follow Islam, that's great, too. If you want to be a Buddhist, or Hindu, or an atheist, that is your business.

What really makes my blood boil is when you try to force your beliefs and doctrines on other people. Brett, if you don't like abortions, then whatever, that's your deal. If you don't like members of the LGBTQ+ community, then suit yourself. However, you have absolutely no right to invoke your religious beliefs on other people and change the way they live just because you don't like it.

Our government specifically demands a separation of church and state. If Brett Kavanaugh is confirmed, the line that was drawn between these will vanish. The progress that we have made over the past decades will be erased. We will be living in a country that hates women, people in the LGBTQ+ community, minorities, and non-Christians.

Leading up to yesterday's hearing, I tried to keep up with the news as best as I could. Many of the headlines that I read questioned if what someone does at age 17 should follow them throughout the rest of their life. Because, they rationalized, how responsible can a teenage boy be at age 17?

I was and still am appalled that this is even a question. If, by age 17, boys do not understand the basic concept of CONSENT, then that is a major problem with the way in which we educate our children. If a teenage boy sexually assaults someone, they should be held accountable for their actions for the rest of their life. As Dr. Ford proved in her testimony, the trauma that the victim will face is going to follow them forever.

What if the tables were turned, huh Brett? What if a boy, at the irresponsible age of 17, has sex and gets a young woman pregnant? This situation probably happens every day.

As a Supreme Court Justice, you would make it impossible for that young woman to escape the 'mistake' she made at age 17. Without safe and legal options for abortions, this girl would have to carry the pregnancy to term and care for the child. Or if the woman was raped and cannot bear to have a child, she could receive an illegal abortion, which is far more dangerous. This puts her life at risk. Or, she could put the child into the brutal foster care system.

See how she must face the consequences of the decisions she makes at age 17? In some cases, a woman's pregnancy is not even her choice.

So, yes, if you sexually assault someone in your teenage years, that CRIME should follow you throughout the rest of your life. It especially should prevent you from being appointed to the a lifetime position on the highest court in the United States of America.

I spent all of Thursday anxiously following Ford and Kavanaugh's testimonies. As a result, I spent the whole day depressed, angry, and distraught. Anyone who watched Dr. Ford deliver her testimony could see that she is not lying. I cannot even imagine what must've been going through her head as she relived her trauma in front of the gawking eyes of the entire country. Thousands of people have questioned her credibility and her character. She's received threats from strangers. She has been called a liar and every other terrible name that you can imagine.

Despite the backlash that she received, Dr. Ford's testimony was gripping, emotional, and heart-breaking. The sacrifices that this woman has endured in order to perform her civil duty is something that we can never repay.

And what of Brett Kavanaugh? His testimony was painful to watch. Through tears and clouded by anger, Kavanaugh explained all of his 'close' female friendships and the absurdity of Ford's claims.

He was absolutely hysterical.

It was the voice of an entitled white man who is not getting exactly what he wants when he wants it.

Some people have tried to sympathize with Kavanaugh. I am mostly thinking of Lindsey Graham, who had a ridiculous, unprofessional, and partisan outburst at yesterday's hearing. People like Graham believe that Ford's claims are part of a "scam" to ruin Kavanaugh, and that he is an innocent man being put through hell.

We call BS.

If this week has proven anything, it's that our country is far more broken that I thought. Usually, I try to remain optimistic and hope that justice will be served. From what I have read, it seems as though despite these allegations, it is likely Kavanaugh will be confirmed.

I don't know what this means for the United States. I don't know what it means for women or for the #MeToo movement. I don't know what it means for our due process. I don't know what it means for the GOP or for the 2018 midterms.

All I know is that there is a lot that is wrong.

And I have no idea how to make it better.